In the blog, Relationship Series: Support Network (March 8, 2026), we talked about the benefits of support networks. If you missed it, please go back to read it and do your homework.

How did you do on your homework? Did you find some gaps or unneeded roles? If so, what did you identify as your next step and did you take the step? If not, what is preventing you from taking the step?

Remind yourself of the benefits of a support network.

One of the benefits is receiving assistance and I want to spend more time talking about ASKING FOR AND ACCEPTING HELP.

Remember it is a SUPERPOWER!

Over the years, I’ve heard many excuses (yes excuses), and I must admit I have used some of them to avoid using the SUPERPOWER. I've heard some very misguided thoughts and beliefs about asking for and accepting help.

I must do it on my own.

If I want something done right, then I have to do it myself.

I can do it faster if I do it myself.

I’m superman, superwoman, a superhero. I never take my cape off.

Everybody expects me to do it.

I’m the strong one. I’m not weak.

I’m independent.

I don’t want to be a burden.

I’ll owe them.

We don’t get extra credit in life for making things harder for ourselves…and that’s exactly what we do when we do not ask for and accept help. Life is hard enough and yes We Can Do Hard Things, but why not make things easier, when possible, by asking for and accepting help?

Being independent does not mean living life in a silo. We were created to be connected to other people.

Let’s take a moment to think about the misguided statement, If I want something done right, then I have to do it myself. Is it that you want it done your way? Or is this an issue of control? I’m not sorry to tell you that if you want to control everything and have everything done your way, you will remain exhausted, stressed, and irritated by doing everything on your own….when it’s not necessary.

Almost 20 years ago, I learned that I would rather have my (now) husband do the dishes his way than me doing them my way. Haha, yes, initially I said he was doing it wrong and was upset he wasn’t doing it my way. Then a wise woman (my mommy) asked me a couple questions. Are the dishes done? Are they clean? Do you want to do them so they can be done your way? She knew how much I HATED to do dishes and how excited I was to have my hubby take on the chore. I don’t hate many things but dishes I despise.  Guess what? He still does the dishes his way and I have time to do other things.

Consider this: I asked a friend to help me move and they said they weren’t sure because they already had commitments. I told them never mind because I didn’t want to be a burden.

Now stop, did your friend say you are a burden? No, they didn’t. But somehow that turned into asking for help is burdening someone. Even if that friend did say you’re a burden, that’s only one person. There are lots of people in the world, why let one person keep you from using your SUPERPOWER? Have you asked anyone else for help?

Another example, everybody expects me to do everything. When I was planning a party nobody offered to help, when I was coaching no one else volunteered, and when I’m at work no one asks me if I can handle all the responsibilities.

Pause, did your behavior show everyone that you didn’t need help or did you repeatedly say I don’t need help? We can be quick to blame others and be upset with others for not helping us, but rarely do we examine our words and actions. If you repeatedly act like you don’t need help or repeatedly refuse help, people might start to believe that you don’t need help so they stop offering.

None of the above statements sound like you, then write your own and ask yourself what happened that caused you to start believing and living by the statement. Did you allow one situation to change your entire view of help? Or did you let one person’s behavior affect how you treat others?

Imagine how life could be different if you asked for and accepted help. Please believe that there are people out in this big world that want to help you and make your day, week, or life easier. As I was typing this blog in public, I asked a complete stranger for help and she instantly provided me the help I needed. It wasn't earth shattering but it was so helpful in the moment. Thanks again, stranger!

If you can’t think of anyone who you can ask for help, then start considering the people who you help. Relationships are meant to be reciprocal. In healthy relationships, each person should be gaining. The gain is not equal but it’s equitable. Sometimes you’re the giver, sometimes you’re the receiver of the help. Not transactional, like shopping at a store.

Still can’t think of anyone who you can ask for and accept help? It might be time to audit your relationships and start to fill gaps in your support network. We all need people!

I know the blog image might seem a bit extreme. However, I talk to people every day that feel like they are drowning. Either they don’t have anyone in their support network to help them or they don’t know how to ask for help. Or they wait until they are drowning until they ask for help. Please don’t wait to get the help you need. Help is available!

Remember you can follow me on YouTube and Facebook for more mental health and relationship tips! Visit my website to learn more about my book, Adventures in Love, and my digital course, Love Yourself First, and to subscribe to receive blogs and Thoughtful Notes to your email. Thoughtful Notes are very short “notes” on an array of topics, such as relationships, self-awareness, and mental health and they include tips to help with living well.

Until Next Time Take Care,

Darsha D!